Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Guatemala: Type-A "Hell"

I would consider myself to have a Type-A personality. I walk fast, I'm anxious, I need structure, I base my self-worth on my productivity, and I like to be in control. Yep, you guessed it...living in Guatemala is kicking my butt.
Carey and I started work this week, and I feel like I've just entered a treatment center to detox from all I learned about work and self-worth in the States. I know most of us would kill to slow down for a bit and take a break from our hectic lives in the U.S., but it's become clear that if I'm going to make it here I'm going to have to change my expectations. Things here are just slower. People are less stressed, or at least seem to be. Which is ironic because they arguably have more to be stressed about than I do (for example, having enough money to survive this month!) Although the people here are some of the hardest working I have ever seen (bending over for 8+ hours picking onions does not look easy), I don't see them scurrying about like rats. I see them talking with their neighbors at length every day and spending time playing with their children (and it takes a lot of time to play with 7 children!)
I don't want to make Guatemala sound like some sort of Eden, because it's not, but there is something very attractive and natural about this way of life. But I still feel myself resisting it - resisting the slower lifestyle and the society that seems to define me more by my 'being' and less by my 'doing.' I know, however, that this is why I need to be here. I recongize how unhealthy it has been for me to define myself by what I do and not who I am. As I detox from my Type-A addiction, I hope to emerge from treatment as less of human doing, and more of a human being.
Peace friends,
Jay

2 comments:

s h a n n o n b u r n s said...

careful or you will slip into zen with those types of thoughts. :)

Unknown said...

stress free .. what a magnificent way of life.